Book 1 Audiobook
Palccoyo - “Rainbow Mountain”
Cusco, Peru
December 5, 2021
Secretly transporting the ashes of her dead husband in a shampoo bottle, SJ travels with Warrior Retreats to Cusco, Peru where she climbs Rainbow Mountain, confronting both the dizzying altitude and her powerlessness in the face of death.
Chapter 1: The Passage Is A Portal
Chapter 2: In The Blinding Dark
Machu & Huyana Picchu
Cusco, Peru
December 8, 2021
SJ climbs Huyana Picchu, guided (and haunted) by the ghost of her charismatic brother-in-law while revisiting the darkness that claimed his life and threatened hers.
Chapter 3, Part One: Open Heart Surgery
The Amazon Jungle (Loreto)
Chullachaqui Lodge
November 29, 2021
SJ travels deep into the Amazon jungle for an Ayahuasca ceremony. Her hope? To reunite with her dead husband. The curandero had other plans.
Chapter 3, Part Two: The Second Ceremony
The Amazon Jungle (Loreto)
Chullachaqui Lodge
November 30, 2021
I hadn’t flown all the way to Peru to spend the night vomiting and shitting myself, unable to truly experience the full power of those magical men. I wanted back in.
Chapter 4: Compassion For Christmas
California, Colorado, O’ahu
The Holidays of 2018 - 2021
Back home in time for the holidays, SJ goes into quarantine and a tailspin, triggered by memories of her husband’s dying wish and the attention of a new man.
Kuli’ou’ou Ditch Trail,
O’ahu, Hawai’i
January 2022
Wakes and memorials and ashes, oh my! The corpse of a dead pig triggers memories of funeral parlors past, a country wake, a Hollywood memorial, and the marching orders of Mama Ayahuasca.
Chapter 5: A Warmer Kiss
Chapter 6: Dating With My Dead Husband
Ka’iwi Shoreline Trail
O’ahu, Hawai’i
February 14, 2022
SJ reluctantly enters the realm of online dating, cougar culture, and ghosting to discover her dead husband is actually choosing the men she’s allowed to date.
Charleston, West Virginia
February 25th, 2022
After a frantic call from hospice, SJ jumps on a plane back to West Virginia mulling over the family secrets and lineage of mental illness and dementia that separated mothers from daughters for generations.
Chapter 7: Operating Systems
Crabapple to Rattlesnake Trail
Kanawha State Forest
Charleston, West Virginia
March 2nd, 2022
Hiking in West Virginia, SJ revisits the wildness and dangers of her childhood, remembering the freedom of the forest, the family fights and abuse. Thirty years later, with her Mom dying in hospice, she has to admit: she’s still carrying an unspoken hope for reconciliation with her mother. Will a moment of lucidity finally bring closure for their troubled relationship?
Chapter 8: A House Made Of Dirt
Kanawha River Trail
Charleston, WV
March 4th, 2022
Feeling a surprising call to forgiveness, SJ visits her father's grave where she, instead, makes the decision to stop keeping his secrets.
Chapter 9: Dead Dad. Birth Mom.
Teaberry Trail
Kanawha State Forest
Charleston, WV
March 5, 2022
After enduring her Mother's shocking confessions, SJ travels to Texas seeking comfort from Kez only to realize the dangerous realities of their pasts have come between them.
Chapter 10: Strapped
Chapter 11: The Beautiful Insanity
Waimano Falls O’ahu, Hawai’i March 11, 2022
San Diego, CA - March 8, 2022 with Ceci Los Angeles - March 10 with Ceci
Spring Break with Cecilia takes an unexpected turn from a deeply nostalgic visit to Legoland to an impulsive blast through Los Angeles where Cecilia remembers life with her daddy.